Hesitation Can Only Last So Long

Things have been busy over the past week, so I haven't had much of a chance to write. Or maybe it's that I haven't had much to write about. You would think that with a busy week (and two very eventful weekends) I would want to talk about it. But I don't know what's been up... Words just aren't coming to me lately. At least not for here.

I've been on this mental roller coaster, you see. My mind is constantly reeling. If there's one thing I've confirmed about myself, it's that I'm a devout analyzer. I can't help it. I pick things apart in my brain and sometimes I wonder where it even gets me. All this thinking, debating, figuring things out, meditation, and dreaming can sometimes be hard to put into conversational words. What would seem like such a simple human task can leave me so stuck. I can make any off-the-cuff remark about food, people, my day, my mood, this coffee, that picture. But what about the big stuff? What about life? What about my views on things? What's causing this mind-to-mouth malfunction? Maybe I'm wrong, completely... ticking myself. Maybe my problem isn't that I can't put my thoughts into words, maybe it's that I'm scared to. Maybe if I were to say how I feel, and actually hear my own truth it will be too much to take. Maybe I care too much about what other people think, though I tend to pride myself on never letting that get in the way of who I am and what I say and do. But it does. I think as humans, we just can't help that. A negative reaction from a person has its way of leaving us with such a foul taste in our mouths, and sometimes, even, saddened hearts. I think that when people are willing to say whatever it is they're thinking, unafraid of another person's reaction, un-bothered by the risk of not being understood, it tells you something significant about them. And this something can be many things, depending upon the person and their heart. Maybe it tells you they're fearless... honest... brave... in tune with themselves or others... deceptive... needy... at peace... broken... looking for answers... affirmative... curious...

What about you? Are you expressive and fearless? Or do you struggle with words from time to time like me?

I'm reluctant to post this because I think it sucks... but here goes!