I RED My Mind...

Red things that I like- that's what this is about. Random? Yes. But that's how I'm feeling right now.

In no particular order:

-Fresh cherries
-Red beans and rice
-Gerber daises
-Strawberries
-Tomatoes
-Crystal Red (my friend)
-Lips
-Lip stick
-Tattoos (my hair stylist has a red tat... it's pretty rad)
-Fiestaware
-Toms
-Jeeps
-Hair (I've always wanted red hair...)
-Salsa
-Red Velvet cake
-Leather modern style couches
-Texas Tech after being defeated by the Aggies
-Tiger Wood's signature look
-Red Bull
-Tomato Basil soup
-Apples
-Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
-Wine
-Red Birds
-Room accents when paired with beige
-Poinsettias
-The new Texas Ranger's gear
-Red Lobster
-Cheeks from blushing
-Cherry Limeades
-Red Sox
-Red Hot Chili Peppers
-Cherry Pomegranate Crystal Light
-Target

BALLS!

It happened. I overslept for work.

I mean, how could I not? I didn't fall asleep til 5 freaken 30 in the morning. Thank goodness my co-workers text woke me up... 25 minutes after I was supposed to be in the office! Well, it happens to all of us; I'm sure many could attest.

So after working a measly 2.5 hours and taking a 3 hour nap, I am now dosing up on some off-brand ibuprofen PM with a cup of hot tea hoping this will do the trick. Game plan for tomorrow: Math, work, hit up the rec, dinner with my amazing co-workers, followed by a night of relaxation (just trying to soak up the last bit of it before all my classes begin). We'll see if that plan fizzles out or not. My life is subject to change by the minute these days (which really means I'm having trouble following through with plans lately... it's a characteristic of myself that sprouts from time to time, and I've learned to accept it and roll with the punches).

This tea is really yummy, and I have my new roomie to thank for it. Starbucks Tazo "Zen" tea, I believe it what it's called. Delicious. If only my ceiling fan wasn't cooling it down so fast.

Anyways, I really feel like rambling tonight. Not sure why. Oh, I tried "cake balls" for the first time tonight at Jacy's. Um, let me just say that whoever came up with this recipe is an absolute genius. They are super moist and delectable. I'm going to a bridal shower over Labor Day weekend where we bring a recipe to share with the bride, and I believe this is the one! Perfect, right? Wedding? Cake? Cake balls? Yea? I think so! Here's the "scoop" on these scooped-out bites-o-cake:

Bake a cake- any kind.
While warm, crumble it up in a bowl.
Add in a whole canister of icing- any kind that goes well with the cake you chose.
Mix well.
Refrigerate in bowl.
Use a melon scoop to scoop out balls of the cake and icing mixture.
Dip individual balls in melted almond bark or chocolate and place on wax paper.
Decorate as you wish.
Refrigerate.
Indulge.

http://www.cakeballs.com <-- Perfect little gift to send your sweet-toothed lover, friend, family member or co-worker. OR, you could try making a home-made batch of your own for them! Now wouldn't that be sweet...

And with that I leave you something for a Tasty Tuesday.
Kate

I'm a Sucker for a Kind Word

The time is currently 3:41 in the A.M. and I am suffering from a severe case of insomnia, a mild case of the munchies, and experiencing slight pains throughout my left arm and hand, as well as my shoulders and neck. Wow. I'm quite a mess. Medicine for the insomnia: a relaxing shower and trying to rest my mind. Medicine for the munchies: Triscuits. Medicine for the pain: None. I choose to tough that one out. I have to be at work at 10 in the morning, so I'm pretty disappointed that I'm losing so much sleep. At least school hasn't started yet. That's a plus.

It's crazy how fast time has gone by since I've been laying here though. It was lights out at about midnight... prayers til about 12:45 (Me and the man had lots to talk about apparently)... then I did some usual "day dreaming" where I like to think about all the things going on in my life currently and relate them to both the past and the future while conjuring up ideas in my head of things I'd like to happen. I took a good look back on many of my summer events: visiting Elisha in Austin; taking classes that I hated; starting a blog; hanging out with Jacy every day; making trips home; going to South Padre; late nights at Northgate; changing minors; my cousin's wedding; tattoos with my sister; moving again; going on great dates; and so many more fun things... new things... the list really could go on. So when 2 AM rolled around I thought about trying to read to fall asleep (Nope). Didn't want to. Maybe if I had the book I've been wanting, this idea wouldn't sound so bad. But I've been spending my money on DVDs lately, not books. By 3 AM I decided to get on the computer, hit up Facebook, and see if anyone else was out there sleepless like me. Turns out a few people were; several Facebookers' status's indicated I wasn't the only one suffering from insomnia (Cool). I checked out the Fort Worth website to see if anything neat would be going on the next time I'm in town (Nothing really caught my eye). Then a song popped into my head, perfect for the sleepless occasion, so I bought it off iTunes- "I'm a Sucker for a Kind Word" by Copeland. It says "Sleeplessness" in it a lot, so that's what made me think of it (Stellar song... you should check it out).

So now that I've listened to all 99 cents worth of a Copland croon, blogged about my late night/ early morning experience, and have yet to succeed at putting my mind to rest, I'm going to wish you good 'morrow. Hopefully I don't oversleep for work (That is, if I ever do fall asleep).

"I'd be hanging on their words

Like they almost meant a thing

In the only lullaby I heard,

Their sirens blaring, singing me to sleep

Holding my loved one tight...
On the softness of her laugh,

I could almost make my bed

But the racket of her absence joined

The sirens blaring ringing in my head

Holding nothing tight, Holding nothing tight

With my eyes so wide

In a house without a back door

I was looking for a fire escape

And I'll be ripping up the floorboards

Just trying to get away

From this sleeplessness, sleeplessness, sleeplessness"

Austin, you rock.

Back in the Saddle

I find it absolutely insane how well I've come to know and predict my body's physical response to certain things. Take my eating habits, for instance. I eat breakfast every morning, which usually consists of cereal and a banana or an english muffin with peanut butter and some yogurt or eggs. Right after I eat, I'm stuffed... even if the breakfast was small. But give me exactly 2 hours and I'm hungry again. So ravenous I could go for a second breakfast. Then there's the night-time munchies, which I have yet to conquer. It happens every night around 10 o'clock.... I begin to crave either ice cream or oatmeal. More than not, I give in to temptation because going to bed with my stomach growling is torturous. I also know myself really well when it comes to exercise. If I go one week without any physical activity, I begin to feel like anything but the strong, energetic 21 year-old that I know I am. Lately my body has been feeling completely under-worked and sluggish. Simply walking from my car up the slightly inclined parking lot to the building where I work left me winded and uncomfortable these past few days. What a discouragement... Kate, who months ago could run for an hour without stopping, is now having trouble walking a slight incline? Okay, wait a second. I'm not going to be so hard on myself. I was doing P90X a couple of weeks ago and getting through it just fine. Anyways... given that this week has left me so lethargic, I decided to go for a much needed bike ride. My friend, it has been too long... I'm getting back on that saddle.

I started out this evening's ride about 7:45, so I knew I wouldn't have but 30 minutes before it would become too dark, but I was fine with that. And honestly I didn't even mind riding for a little while after the sun went down since I'd be on campus and not major roads. I made my way to the campus park, unloaded my bike, slipped on my headphones (which are still cranking out anonymous tunes from the interim iPod Shuffle which I loathe), strapped on my helmet and took off.

The first few spins and I was incredibly happy. I made my way through a sudden wave of freedom that seemed to be lingering in the air, just waiting for my arrival. Unfortunately this euphoric moment came to a screeching halt no more than 2 minutes into my ride. It hit me that oh ya... it's been a while! I was already struggling. My legs weren't able to exert the power they usually do. I had to shift gears and make it easier on myself. But I was still going to push through it and make the ride worth while.

It started getting better as I made my way to a longer stretch of road. I focused on pedaling to the cadence of each song, just like we would do in spin class. This worked out for some songs such as The Beach Boy's "Wouldn't It Be Nice" and Bret Dennen's "The One Who Loves You The Most." Fall Out Boy's "This Aint a Scene It's an Arms Race" really got my blood pumping but needless to say, I couldn't keep up with the tempo. The ride got a little less strenuous as I started heading back to retrace my path (there was a little down-hill). N*sync's "Gone" came on, which was perfect for the time being.

I noticed some dark clouds rolling in from the south, but didn't suspect any rain to hit. Several times, I could have sworn I saw flashes like lightning up around them, but when I would fixate on the clouds I never saw anything. A few minutes passed and I realized I was right about what I saw. A full-on lightning storm had broken out in the sky and I began to get concerned. There I was, rolling along on a piece of metal, basically saying "Hey! Strike me! Look, I'm open!" As the lightening got worse, I got panicky. I was bound and determined to get back to my car ASAP.

My heart rate increased to a ridiculous 194 bpm due to the combination of frantic pedaling and nervousness. I immediately envisioned getting struck by a 54,000-degree bolt, flying off my bike, breaking my neck, and being paralyzed for the rest of my life. Death wasn't my fear; pain was. I checked my time... it had only been about 18 minutes and I was really needing a solid half-hour. But I didn't wanna chance it. The lightning was getting worse and the fact that I was facing towards it made me feel like I was getting closer to it. I started to pray for safety; I knew that God would protect me.

The road started to curve as I got closer to where I parked, and I was now facing away from the storm. I was breathless and pedaling hard, as Jeff Johnson's "Old Rugged Cross" started to play. At first I thought, It figures that a worship song would come on right at a freaky moment like this. But then I had a sense of comfort come over me. I felt the Lord calling me to trust Him, but at the same time I realized something amazing- the lightning I was so scared of was causing me to push myself to new limits. I was flying down that road like I had never done before. My heart rate was higher than it was the time I almost passed out from running, yet I could handle it. The power I was able to attain from my legs seemed to come out of nowhere. I was amazed by how fear can cause perseverance, which can then be proof of strength.

I got to where I could see my car in the distance. I knew I needed somewhat of a cool down, so I took it down a notch, relaxed, and began to slow my breathing. Looking over my shoulder, I gazed back at the explosions in the sky. I hated the fact that I was witnessing such a magnificent event in the clouds from such an unsafe position. I wanted to hurry and hop in my car so I could sit and enjoy the view for a while but once I got there I realized too many trees were in the way. So I did a quick stretch, chugged some water, un-geared myself, thanked the Lord for revealing His mercy and truth to me yet again, and rolled my bike into the trunk.

It was unfortunate that my ride had to be cut short by 10 minutes but it made for an interesting evening. I'm looking forward to my next ride! I know that building back up my endurance might take a while but I'm ready for the challenge. I'm going to get a tune-up tomorrow and I might even hit up Target for a new sports top (for motivational purposes only).

For Fun Fridays,
Kate

Hesitation Can Only Last So Long

Things have been busy over the past week, so I haven't had much of a chance to write. Or maybe it's that I haven't had much to write about. You would think that with a busy week (and two very eventful weekends) I would want to talk about it. But I don't know what's been up... Words just aren't coming to me lately. At least not for here.

I've been on this mental roller coaster, you see. My mind is constantly reeling. If there's one thing I've confirmed about myself, it's that I'm a devout analyzer. I can't help it. I pick things apart in my brain and sometimes I wonder where it even gets me. All this thinking, debating, figuring things out, meditation, and dreaming can sometimes be hard to put into conversational words. What would seem like such a simple human task can leave me so stuck. I can make any off-the-cuff remark about food, people, my day, my mood, this coffee, that picture. But what about the big stuff? What about life? What about my views on things? What's causing this mind-to-mouth malfunction? Maybe I'm wrong, completely... ticking myself. Maybe my problem isn't that I can't put my thoughts into words, maybe it's that I'm scared to. Maybe if I were to say how I feel, and actually hear my own truth it will be too much to take. Maybe I care too much about what other people think, though I tend to pride myself on never letting that get in the way of who I am and what I say and do. But it does. I think as humans, we just can't help that. A negative reaction from a person has its way of leaving us with such a foul taste in our mouths, and sometimes, even, saddened hearts. I think that when people are willing to say whatever it is they're thinking, unafraid of another person's reaction, un-bothered by the risk of not being understood, it tells you something significant about them. And this something can be many things, depending upon the person and their heart. Maybe it tells you they're fearless... honest... brave... in tune with themselves or others... deceptive... needy... at peace... broken... looking for answers... affirmative... curious...

What about you? Are you expressive and fearless? Or do you struggle with words from time to time like me?

I'm reluctant to post this because I think it sucks... but here goes!

You mean I have a muscle there?

I can't get over the severity of the soreness I'm experiencing today. I could barely get up out of bed to press snooze on my alarm when the increasingly loud beep sounded over and over again. Even getting back in bed- which I do every morning after I hear my alarm- was a difficult task. Instead of the usual fall into the mattress and throw the covers over my head move I do, I kept hunched over and carefully slid into a laying position, mostly curled in a ball. Straightening out my torso felt like what I imagine a cardboard box would feel like when packing tape is being ripped away from it. Ouch. That's when I realized there's a reason P90X has many success stories... and many drop outs, I'm sure. If you haven't heard of P90X, it's an at-home workout video that's probably the most intense of all at-home workouts. It blows Chuck Norris's Total Gym out of the water (and trust me, it takes a powerful force to blow anything that Chuck Norris is associated with out of the water). And it makes Winsor Pilates look about as relaxing as floating in the pool.

Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating. After all... I've only experienced p90X three times; the last time I went for a ride on a Total Gym was in 6th grade (and we might as well have called it a Jungle Gym); and two summers ago when I decided to test my pilates skills I probably put in 50% of my effort. I did, however exert all my energy into my recent P90X workouts. And I'm feeling the effects of it today, for sure.

Monday night I went over to Shayla and Melanie's house, prepared for a great workout. P90X Ab Ripper. Shayla's been keeping up with these workouts pretty dang good for a couple of weeks now, so she knew what all to expect. I, on the other hand, didn't know what was coming. Sixteen minutes of hard core abs straight through, making for a total of 349 major muscle contractions. Now I'm sure 16 minutes doesn't sounds like any big deal, but trust me, this is no simple crunch or sit-up you're doing. The moves are challenging and even leave you breathless. Twenty-four hours later the soreness hit me. And like I said, the next morning was no easy task.

Tonight we all three got together again to do the chest and back workout, followed by more abs. Holy cow... talk about a challenge. Forty-five minutes of intense strength training exercises all in a row, which left me flat on my face at several points. By the end of the workout, I burned 469 calories according to my awesome Polar watch and heart rate monitor. And that's just from strength training! Not cardio... not running... no; push-ups, pull-ups, and other crazy weight lifting moves. No wonder P90X will get you fit. It pushes you to some serious limits!

After a lot of water and some muscle relaxation in the hot tub, we were already making plans for tomorrow's workout- Plyometrics at 6:30 in the morning! I better get some sleep... it's almost 2AM. (Typical Kate staying up way too late...) Shayla's supposed to give me a wake up call... hopefully I don't pansy out.

For Whatever Wednesdays,
Kate

A Metaphor the Missed

There's something very comforting about you. It's not hard to pin-point because it's simply your entire being. I'm never worried when I'm around you. I never feel threatened, uneasy, or scared. When I see you, I'm relieved... carefree...

For years we've heard endearments like, "Your smile lights up the room." Yet I've never witnessed the illumination of an already lit room by a simple facial expression of happiness until you came along. Beaming rays of sun penetrate through my skin, sinking deep into my bones when your heart paints a genuine smile on your face. And it is your heart that paints that smile- your wonderful, wonderful heart.

I haven't the slightest clue what goes on in that mind of yours. You were never hard to read until I made you into a book of my own. You were a mystery and I turned you into a romance. You were a novel and I made you into a chapter. You were that book I couldn't put down and now cannot open back up.

It's sad when you're not allowed to read your favorite book.

There was something perfect about a hug from you. How no matter the blistering cold, you were always toasty warm. How you always held on so long... yet never long enough. How my head could rest perfectly on your chest... and my ear would easily hear that wonderful heart of yours beating so strong.

For years we've heard the lines and lyrics about beating hearts. But never had I heard a heart beat so loud... never had I felt such a powerful pulse.

Since you've been gone I've tried to find my way. And I've taken several roads, each one unique from the other. Some are rocky and lead to peace. Some are smooth and lead to destruction. Others are backed up with stop-and-go traffic and I wonder if I will ever make my way through. Some roads are lonely... for miles and miles I'll go with out passing by a single car, or having one pass by me. And I wonder... Will I ever find that comfort again?

I'm living my life in both chaos and tranquility. Shedding both vices and virtues. And in doing so, I am swayed by the idea of you and I. I am influenced by a heart that I once knew, and controlled by the one that keeps me alive.

I've made mistakes... done stupid things. But never was I told to be perfect. Not that I seek justification for follies, but I appreciate the sacrifice of unconditional love. Love is all I have and all I can give. Hate isn't a word in my vocabulary, and I pray it's never a component of my spirit. How could it be? It's just too harsh.

But some think love is too brash.

A mystery you were and a mystery you may remain. You are a chapter of my past, yet you are a co-author of my future.

You are a wonderful, wonderful heart.

Fishy Fix

If your summer food craving can't be cured by the juicy goodness of a hot-off-the-grill hamburger or the savory combination of brisket and potato salad, freshen and lighten things up a bit with a pretty plate of hand-rolled sushi. Sushi is loaded with great-for-you ingredients that, when rolled all up together, can make for some very flavorful experiences. Since this Japanese cuisine gained its popularity in America, the simple lump of rice with a sliver of raw fish has been jazzed up with everything from zucchini to strawberries, and served up in ways that can make it look more like an artist's masterpiece than a hungry girl's lunch. If you head to the right place, you'd be surprised what many sushi chefs can create for your fishy fix.

Confetti Roll @ Piranha Killer Sushi: Fort Worth, TX

Cali Roll and Rainbow Roll @ Teriyaki Park, College Station, TX














For Tasty Tuesdays,
Kate

The Sound Sends

This past weekend I heard a familiar voice. It subtly sounded over the speakers of Boomer Jacks and instantly carried me back to my much younger days. It took me to my best friend's room, where we would rummage through C.D.s to find that perfect song. Once the delicate polycarbonate disk started spinning in the boom box, our voices united with the sound waves as we severed ourselves from reality. Imagination took over our thoughts as music videos were made, dances were choreographed, and hairbrushes served as microphones. The small, square room became a vast, lit-up stage and the illusion of an audience was locked inside the lens of a camcorder until our finished product could make its debut on our parents' TV screens. At a time when girl bands were our idols and boy bands were our crushes, music resonated with us in a completely different way than it does today. Back then, I didn't search for the deeper meaning in a song. I didn't think about the story the artist wanted to convey. The melody didn't pull at the strings of my heart and chills didn't creep through my arms and legs at the intensity of drawn-out note. My only thought about music was who it made you to the world- famous, colorful, glittery, and rich. Singing wasn't an art spurred on by the beauty of life; it was a talent used for power and recognition. Time and maturity have since changed my mind, but the songs themselves from back in those days still stick in an innocent way. The Spice Girls will always make me think of wild fashion. Ace of Base will always remind me of dancing around in the kitchen wearing my sister's costume from her dance recital. All Saints will forever take me back to the days when I wished I were older. B*Witched will always cause daydreams of floating castles and flying with umbrellas... (which today makes me question whether or not I was stoned at the age of ten...) Regardless of how absurd the memory is, the amazing thing is that it's there. And I can't get over the complexity of the human mind... how a forgotten song can suddenly come rushing back, word for word, rhyme and tune.

For Music Mondays,
Kate